Came here to pick-up a couple of subs to go. The sandwich nazi was on top of his stand-up comedy act. I no longer ask for a type of sandwich as I trust that he will make the largest and most tastiest sandwich possible. His crude banter can be heard throughout the store and his welcoming comments to new customers is an earful. He asked if I wanted white bum or brown bum referring to his bread. Do not come here if you get easily offended and can not take a joke. Paid almost $8/sub and worth every penny. Think each sub weighs as much as a small baby. Will come back again.
What a great place! Awesome owner who clearly loves what he does and is more than happy to chat with each and every person who comes in. Yeah he's crude and crass but that's part of the fun, so make sure you go in with a good sense of humour.
The place is a hole in the wall but they've got tables and a few chairs if you want to stay and eat. The food is tasty and fresh, the only problem is he gives you waaaaayy too much meat and cheese in the sandwich and he's probably not going to ease up, even if you ask him to. You're pretty much stuck with whatever sandwich he chooses to make you, but if you're looking for a giant sandwich and a fun time, this is the place to go.
Just the other day a good friend of mine asked me.if i've ever had a proper deli sandwich before. I paused for a moment, and said well... no!. Now I have, at La Charcuterie you are getting a sandwich experience. An awesome owner who truly cares about what he is serving his patrons.Building epic sandwiches customized by the owner himself. Always good banter in the shop, this is how deli's should be.Inside,there are a plethora of european delights from chocolates to excellent mustards. Locally owned renowned reputation for sandwiches,and good laughs in the shop. A must try!!!
I was looking on this site under top rated restaurants and this place was ranked #3 so I decided to go in for lunch today since I was working in the area. Driving by it was hard to notice but I found it. It's in an industrial area. On the door I read "do not enter if you don't have a sense of humor" or something like that and also "best sandwich in the city"
When entering.. there is a line up to the door of construction workers. Place is a dump, spider webs in the corners, dirty, there's jars on counters that look very old, gross and expired. The owner is making sandwiches while trying to entertain everyone and tell jokes. At first I was kind of uncomfortable hearing him talk about his genitalia and was thinking gross, he's making our food. Did he wash his hands, etc but he is a nice guy that means well, just trying to have fun with the guys I guess. There is a seating area in there but I would not stay there to eat, just grab my sandwich and leave asap. If I could rate ambiance here I would give it a 1 out of 5 but I can't since I chose take-out. He also got one of the customers, I guess a regular to answer his phone for him. He seems like he's there to just hang with the guys and tell jokes more then make money.
The sandwich that I ordered was the #8 (he chooses what he wants to make you) He stared grabbing slabs and slicing and then just tossing them into the fridge with open meat touching other meat wrappers that have been handled. Just seemed very unsanitary, unorganized and dirty. When it was time to pay it was $8 so I put a ten dollar bill on the counter and he said to grab my own change from the pile.. no thanks so I just gave him the ten and got out of there quick. I was walking to my truck with a ten pound football in my arm. Oh wait, it was my sandwich.
Time to eat -
I open up my HUGE heavy sandwich and the meat is at least 2 inches thick no exaggeration, I measured with my thumbs. Take a bite, tastes like meat... just a ton of meat that over powers the sandwich. It wasn't very good at all. No tasty sauce, no special ingredients, just WAY too much meat. I was thinking about just going to quiznos for a tasty meat, vegetable and vinaigrette sandwich to replace this sandwich but I ate half instead. I tried to give the other half away but nobody wanted it.
I would never return because I think the place is a dive. The sandwich was too big and lacked taste other then meat. For all the foodies on here that see this place's great rating now you know it's not because they have great food. It's just because some locals love eating heavy meat only tasting sandwiches.
If you are a female I would recommend you not enter this place, unless you have very THICK skin.
From reading other reviews it seems they grade this place high because of getting lots for their money, I rate by taste, quality over quantity.
Bigger was not better in this case.
Only good thing about going there was I a had funny stories to tell afterwords. When telling a workmate about my experience he seemed disgusted but then ended our conversation with "I have to go there" haha so that explains this place I hope.
Big, and I mean BIG sandwiches.
As high as a pop can. Each sandwich has like a pound of meat in it and the bread is very fresh! For $6, you can have two very filling meals.
Also, the owner is hillarious! He does everything and anything so beware! Sense of humour is a must when going in here.
We just HAD to check this place out. Situated deep in the Port Kells Industrial Park, it can be hard to spot if you're watching out for the semi's.
Signs on the door warn you to bring in your sense of the absurd and leave your hang-ups outside.
We were about third in line, and the off-colour repartee was flying thick and fast. At one point, the one-man-show behind the counter told the others in line that he would have to behave, as "there was a lady here!" When I looked around and asked "Where?", everyone laughed and we were OK.
The bread was excellent, the meats and cheese freshly sliced and PILED on. As everyone else has said, one sandwich makes two meals.
Very tasty, very entertaining. Go just to see that this guy is for real!
I heard about this place through some friends, who affectionately call the man who runs the place the "sandwich nazi" (like the soup nazi from Seinfeld). We almost missed the place, it's a little hole in the wall and at first glance seems a little dumpy. It's also fairly out of the way, but totally worth it.
The guy behind the counter is the most charismatic person I have ever met. If you don't have a good sense of humor this place is not for you, if you do, you'll love it. He's a bit crude, and will make a few jokes at your expense. But you can also tell he has a big heart and really is a people person. The tip jar had a picture of himself in ladies underwear, and my personal favorite was the picture of himself affectionately holding deli meat while laying in the grass that was up on the wall.
I told him what I wanted, he asked if he could make me what he wanted to make me. I obliged because I could tell he knew what he was doing. I told him I didn't like cheese and he offered me a piece to try just in case. Not the kind of impersonal service you would receive at a place like subway or quiznos, that's for sure!
The sandwiches were massive, with an unbelievable amount of meat. For the cost of the sandwich ($7.50) you couldn't even buy that much meat at your local grocery store. It's fresh, it's delicious. There's also tons of imported foods that you can buy there, some interesting candies and chocolate etc.
The sandwich was so big that I could only eat half, the other half I had for dinner. If you don't have a big appetite I suggest bringing a friend to share with.
Worth the experience and the food! The hours are a bit weird (he told us he was closing at 3 that day) so maybe call ahead if you're making the trip.
My wife, son and I bought 2 of his massive sandwiches today. He asked what type of bread, if we wanted hot sauce/mustard/mayo, then the slicing started.......meat after mat, then cheese, lettuce and joking with my son. We all enjoyed our 1/2 sandwich and will all go back again!!! Very neat place and guy.
Ok I know you could take it to go. But you would be depriving yourself of a half hour of someone who actually kept his commitment to running his business his way and avoiding the cookie cutter business that leaves everything white washed. He isn’t intimidating. He will test each "adult" customer one at a time and give them just about as much banter as he feels appropriate. Your only real choice is basically the Bread... and maybe you might get to choose the hot sauce or not. The rest is up to him. At least that’s how it was for the hour I spent there today. I bought two sandwiches for my wife and I. We ate one there and took the other monster home. I threw it onto the digital scale because it seriously is obscene and it weighed in at 2 lbs. 2 ounces. or 970 grams... A kilo..... He himself would agree the Lebanese always like to sell a good Kilo or two..... The actual environment is a mix between your neighbour’s garage that hasn’t been tidied up in a while (papers and boxes a bit everywhere) and a delicatessen.. His reaction would probably be something like. Who Cares? Did you come here for a Sandwich? or did you come here to ( insert offer to provide or receive whatever X-rated activity he hasn’t had in the past 20 minutes). While I was there he had French CBC turned on very quietly which says a lot about the guy.. Its not just his sandwiches that have depth he is a character as well. I think next time I go I'm going to order a Vegetarian Sandwich and see what I get.
I still have a smile on my face from this refreshing experience. Bring Cash and exact change otherwise you may not get out of there for a long time as he doesn’t like to handle money too often as he has a steady line of demand for sandwiches.. its almost like a military operation and he is the Sandwich Machine gun.
oh one final think. Don’t forget your manners. Please and Thank-yous are a must from the customers He may have a dirty mouth but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have manners ;)
The owner is reason enough to go to this place. If your the politically correct type this is not the place for you, just go to Subway. The place is a mess but the sandwiches are awesome. Your stomach will hurt from laughing and being full from the massive sandwich. It's a must stop if your in Port Kells. I want to go now just thinking about it.
You've heard of the soup Nazi from watching Seinfeld haven't you? Well the owner of La Charcuterie Delicatessen is the Sandwich Nazi and a colorful one at that. I used to visit this place when it was in N.Van, but he has moved to Surrey. I'm glad i found him again because the reason why he's so famous is his beautiful sandwiches and his colorful commentary. The sign in the door says the best sandwich in North America. I agree, but i havn't tried all the sandwiches in North America. Maybe Bobby Flay should have a throwdown with this guy. But the show would have to be rated R. We always have very interesting conversations. For some reason it always resorts to alot of references to sex,( masterbation in general). I can't help but laugh, this guy is hilarious and definitly makes my day when ever i go visit him. In case you didn't know, you can get a free sandwich if you give him a naked picture of yourself. ROFL!
I ordered a 911 sandwich, my usual, but he gave me a sandwich from a bigger order he was preparing. You get your choice of bread which is nice. All the ingredients were fresh. The meat sliced to order. The cleanliness of the place is questionable. Some might think the conversations with this guy is questionable. But the sandwiches are awsome! You can make a few sandwiches with the amount of meat and cheese he gives you.
I think everyone should go there even if you are not hungry, just stand there and enjoy the conversation.
I gave him a poor for service because i didn't get the sandwich i ordered. But i am still happy with the sandwich he gave me. I don't know why he even has a menu. He should take down the menu and just start a collection of pictures of people who got free sandwiches. Lol! Enjoy!
Definetly the BEST sandwich!
After an incredible first visit in early 2008, I had been disappointed upon my return. I had opted to try the hot sauce and it was a big mistake. However, decided to give it a try again, this time knowing exactly what I did and did not want.
What I wanted was something other than just meat. You cannot fault this man. He is generous to a fault with his portions. I would never go back to Subway again if his place wasn't so far out of the way.
So this time I asked him for lots of lettuce & pickles. We had a wonderful conversation and he made me a great roast beef & ham sandwich , with an ugodly amount of two different types of cheese. I declined his offer of hot sauce. My wife and I split half of it before golf and I had the other half for lunch the following day.
The man has a real passion for what he does. At $7 plus tax, throw the bun away and make your own sandwiches for a week. A little hard to eat but it is one beautiful sandwich.
As to the language, the man knows what he can and cannot get away with it. He is a good judge of people. But enter at your own risk. I left the wife in the car but I'm pretty sure he would have been fine.
The other reviewers are right on the money about this place -- huge subs, great prices on cheese, and some really, really dirty (but good natured) talk. This place is a real trip and not for the faint of heart. it goes on and on and on. Cash only. Not open weekends.
I'm kicking myself for not having enough time to sit and eat it there, but what an experience this place it. Come open minded and able to laugh at yourself and you are guaranteed a good time. Even better is the sandwich. I let the owner make me whatever he wanted to slip in between my buns and boy was I satisfied. Four different types of meats, two different cheese, lettuce, tomato all adds up to about a 3 lbs sandwich for $8. I don't know anywhere else to get that kind of value with that kind of flavour, and to come out with a smile on the face from laughing so hard. It is all good. Next time I'm staying, and if I'm lucky the owner will honour his promise of letting me be the first to see him after he's been waxed!
This place is extreme on two counts: the proprietor and the sandwiches. Otherwise it would be an ordinary delicatessen: a meat and cheese counter and a few small specialty grocery items.
While I was there, the proprietor kept up a steady monologue of crudeness and explicit sexual commentary as he made sandwiches. He interacted with each customer, trying to push buttons to see what kind of reaction he could get, and he seemed to love it when the customers played along. There was no anger or hatred in his words; he's just an x-rated comedian. Individual tastes will vary as to whether one finds his shtick funny or grating. I give the ambiance a 3, meaning that for some it will be a 5 and for others a 1.
As for service, it is also either a 1 or a 5. On the one hand, he never actually asked what kind of sandwich I wanted. After I chose my bread he just kept pulling out meats and saying that he'd put some of this on it too. He asked whether I wanted hot sauce, and when I said that I wanted it on just one of my two sandwiches, he decided to put it on both. On the other hand, he put much less of it on mine than he did for another customer who said that she wanted some, so he was paying *some* attention to preferences. Finally when he handed me my sandwiches he also gave me a chocolate bar ("Give this to your wife, and give her a French kiss on my behalf"). I will note that he washed his hands before starting every new customer's order. Only his mind is dirty...
Finally, for the food. The sandwiches are on wide, foot-long sub bread. He put 4 different meats on my sandwiches, about 5 slices of each. (Compare that to the tiny shavings you get at commercial chains!) There were generous portions of cheese, lettuce (whole leaf), tomatoes, and cucumbers. The end result was MAMMOTH and it cost just $7! Everything was fresh-tasting and the combination of meats was pretty good, even if I didn't get to pick them.
The man does what he wants, has a good time, and takes serious pride in his work. I will gladly make it a point to return sometime.
Oops, I probably shouldn't say that since I don't want to ruin his reputation. He has successfully cultivated a reputation for being a foul mouthed, obnoxious, out spoken man.... as observed by the warning signs as you enter his establishment.
I have been reading with interest the posts here on DineHere.ca reviewing La Chacuterie for quite a while. So today I convinced my husband and mom to come for a drive and grab a sandwich. We drove from White Rock and found this little deli quite easily.
Upon entering, we could hear the man behind the counter joking around with the men already in line. Once he looked up and saw my mom and I though he told everyone that he was going to keep it clean from now on for the ladies. I must say that he was so funny and courteous to my mom and I..... sure, he made some innuendo type comments (I'll see you later....after I close) to my mom but she loved it! She was laughing and blushing and joking right back! I think she would have been a bit disappointed and insulted if he hadn't!!!! We also felt a little bad that he wasn't maybe being as much as a "showman" as he probably would have been if we hadn't been there since I'm sure all the other men who came in while we were there most likely expected him to be.
He conversed very well in french with my husband and showed his fine taste and knowledge by his recommendations in art and food. His outer mannerisms and language bely an inner intelligence and worldliness.
We decided on #8 on the menu, which is basically letting him compile the sandwich to his liking.
The poppy seed bread we selected (he has 4 or 5 various breads to choose from) was very fresh and crispy without being too dense. The meat and vegetables were of good quality... herbed cheese, lean cut quality meats..... very impressive! What was most impressive though was the size. It can easily be 2 meals or 1 meal shared between 2-3 people..... and packaged well for the workmen who come in (there was a constant stream of them while we were there).
This man is very hard working, very dedicated to his craft and very hard not to like. He is a true "sandwich artist".
Hands down, the best sandwich you will ever eat in your life !!!! Daily fresh bread, excellent cheese selection, meat and vegies are always top notch. Dollar for Value is HUGE ! When I am not on duty, a single sandwich will take care of my lunch and dinner.
I highly reccomend the Telus or the 9-1-1, sandwich.
Enjoy and Make sure you are sitting down when you bite into these heavenly creations !
To be honest, I have been nervous of going here despite my eagerness to finally find a giant tasty sandwich. The reviews made me feel like I would be intimidated by this crude motormouth of a sandwich man - but I had no reason to be scared! Like other reviewers say, he doesn't let up for a moment, continuing on his monologue of innuendos and rude jokes, whilst making the sandwiches, but he was also very respectful of the customers waiting in line. And a real softie!
I went with my baby daughter and he was smitten with her. In fact, he gave me my sandwich ahead of those waiting in line and for free because he thought my baby was cute! I suspect it was actually because he wanted to get me out of the store so he could continue telling rude jokes, but what a sweetheart!
Although there is a menu written on a whiteboard, it didn't really feel like the done thing to order from it. He obviously prefers to make whatever he feels like, and give all customers the same fillings ie whatever meats he currently has on his chopping board. Fine by me, I was happy to go with the flow. The only question he was asking the customers was which bread they wanted, and then proceeded to make the sandwiches using what ingredients he wanted.
The sandwich itself was awesome! Aside from the impressive size (it weighed in at a whopping 1 pound 12.5oz), it was really tasty too. Even if it was a fraction of the size, I still loved the flavour and quality of the meats, and the bread was proper bread, none of the light flavourless buns so favoured by most sandwich shops. The sandwich had a whole host of meats on it - salami, ham, beef and possibly turkey, I can't remember now. Far more than a sandwich should contain but wow, value for money. And some cheese then a bit of lettuce and tomato.
The shop itself doesn't look great and it doesn't have that sparkling clean deli feel about it, but it WAS clean and he washed his hands after handling money and wrapping the sandwiches etc. All in all, I will be back, I'm already craving my next giant sandwich!
Entering La Charcuterie is like entering the lair of a mad scientist in his sandwich workshop. If you can leave political correctness and any sensitivity whatsoever at the door you will be in for a fun time while your sandwich is created. The owner sizes you up as he makes a custom sandwich for you. Like a taylor from Brioni there is some black magic going on here.
For both my wife and I he made us very different sandwiches and hit our taste buds like a dart to the triple 20. Even if the size of the finished product were not so insanely big the overall taste would still make the trip here worthwhile and a good value. The fact that you can feed a family of three for two days on one sandwich makes the value that much more incredible.
As with any genius there are some quirks and like the title says keep the kids in the car. (I actually think that the guy is very sensitive for all of his gregarious outbursts and think that he would keep it clean for the kids if they were there.) Love him or hate him his sandwiches are five stars!!! I will keep driving a long way out of my way to enjoy these creations.
I give him a five on the service rating... more sensitive people may only give one star. He is over the top, but is also very engaging and thoughtful. Geniuses are often misunderstood people... and it would take a genius to make such unique sandwiches.
I suggest giving him free hands at creating your own personal masterpiece. God gave us one mouth and two ears... this guy can very effectively fill all three in one short visit!
Wow, I stumbled upon this deli through the dinehere website. Thought I would give it a try, the subs are massive. I am a regular at Subway and Quiznos, a 12" hardly fills me up. Here, I could only finish half the sandwich. At least 4" thick! The owner is pretty funny, must have watched Eddie Murphy in Delirious a few times in the 80's. Pretty crude humour, mostly ethnic based, works well in the industrial area where his business operates.