My dinner companion and I decided to eat at Matteo's on Sunday night based on the reviews we read at Dine Here. The owner greeted us hospitably and after seating us, immediately came to the table with an open bottle of red wine, which he began to pour into a glass. He seemed quite taken aback when we explained we didn't drink. Next a waiter - I think he was - came with an open bottle of bottled water, that claimed to be San Pellegrino. Instead of condensation on the outside of the bottle, it was on the inside, and one taste suggested very strongly that it was tap water. But we hadn't ordered it, so didn't obejct.

My companion and I agreed that a main course was all we could eat that night, but the waiter brought - unsolicited - 2 bowls of flavoured mayonnaise dip, some quartered pita bread on a side plate, a bowl of what looked like large chunks of beets, but which he told us were turnips marinated in red wine and a large bowl of salsa, which he called Greek Salad.

We each tried a turnip chunk, which were raw and tasted vaguely of the wine, but did not like them. The salsa was OK, although the vegetables were so finely diced, it was difficult to tell what they were. Nevertheless, a close inspection revealed more of the beets, some zucchini, tomatoes and possibly some onion. There was plenty of feta cheese crumbled on top, and it tasted OK. Much like Greek Salad. There was way more than enough of it in the large bowl, too.

Seconds before we got the food we actually did order, a plate of sizzling fried cheese was plopped on our table, as the owner wanted us to have it. It was pretty good, although it was orange and white marbled cheddar, which is readily available at the nearby Safeway. The owner came right back with our "veal with wild mushrooms." He explained that normally it came with rice, but he felt we had eaten enough and didn't need the rice - nor, I guess, any vegetables that might normally have been served, too.

Each plate had two large, tenderised veal cutlets, drowned in a large pool of brownish sauce, which bore no sign of wild - or even tame - mushrooms. In fact, all l I could see in the pool, were blackish specks that I hoped were pepper, and a lump of something white, which I thought must be some of the fried cheese that had fallen onto my plate. Popping it into my mouth, I was horrified to find it was a lump of butter. It hadn't melted, because the meal was not hot enough. I couldn't possibly guess what seasonings had been used, but the lake on my plate was a very strange-tasting brew. I couldn't force myself to eat more than a couple of small bites, even though I am not a picky eater.

After my starving friend had wolfed down his food, while complaining about the taste, we had difficulty getting anyone's attention in order to get the bill. However, the owner eventually brought us the bill, which - based on the food we'd ordered - should have come to $50 before taxes, but had somehow grown to $72.00 Clearly some of the "free" food was not free, after all!

Although we did not complain, the owner very kindly mentioned that he was not charging us the sales tax.... but he was quite put out that we had not lingered over our meal the way we ought to have. Unfortunately, we had lingered far too long in our own opinions, and we both needed fresh air.

As to the decor, it was not in any way reminiscent of Greece, but was attractive enough. As in many Greek Restaurants, the music that occasionally blared through the speakers was very loud, but unlike other Greek restaurants we'd eaten at, was mostly Leonard Cohen.

Overall, that was the worst meal I've ever eaten in a restaurant, but because we didn't want to get into a discussion, we said nothing to the owner about the food or strange service, we just paid, left and drove to Whole Foods for something eatable.