Just as DiscoDaddy is deciding upon what restaurant to write about for his third review, his good friend HockeyGord encourages your Disconess to try what he and apparently many Vancouverites considers to be the best take-out/pizza-by-the slice in the city, Uncle Fatih's.
Uncle Fatih's is located at East Broadway and Commercial Drive, an area that is right in DiscoDaddy's hood. Of course, being a man of the highest sophistication, DiscoDaddy knows not to compare this little place to the BEST pizza on earth, his very own DiscoMomma's Italian pizza nor should he even dare to compare it to his ultimate sit down favorite, Marc*ll*. (please wait disco fans for that review to come). DiscoDaddy knows that Uncle Fatih's is a take-out pizza and understands the difference... but how does it fair against DiscoDaddy's Italian stallion, his Rocky of take-out pizzas??? (please search DiscoDaddy's reviews and you will find the place)
Uncle Fatih's is very conveniently located for those that take public transportation, but for DiscoDaddy, he had to park his DB-9 farther away at Safeway to keep his baby out of harms way. On this unusual night, DiscoDaddy is not boogying the night away at his favorite discotheque, instead he has just finished playing ball-hockey at Britannia. DiscoDaddy is hungry and needs food badly.
What better time to try some of the famous Fatih's fare? When DiscoDaddy arrives, he finds he is completely overdressed for the event in his full Lululemon manwear. What shame Uncle Fatih's must be feeling now, making DiscoDaddy wait OUTSIDE the door just to get in line? Already DiscoDaddy is not happy, but hey if the pizza is really as good as the masses say, then maybe your Disconess needs to suffer a bit.
Once inside the closet-box of a store, DiscoDaddy is happy to find the Fatih is very well lit, perfect for DiscoDaddy to check out his own reflection in the glass to ensure his hair is gelled properly. Wow, what a tight squeeze, lucky DiscoDaddy has remembered to put on his best body spray. DiscoDaddy is a man of the people, he knows they appreciate his presence. All this time and we still haven't gotten to pizza?!!! Well... now you understand how long DiscoDaddy had to endure!
DiscoDaddy ordered the $4 special with a slice of Beef and Blue Cheese and some kind of vegetarian pizza. Boy is DiscoDaddy ever mad! How can HockeyGord be so dumb? The Fatih does not make pizza! Their so-called pizza is really some bastardized form of chop suey on crust. Their crust is actually OK, average taste and average crunch but that's where the good stuff ends. DiscoDaddy is holding his pizza, sniffing it all over like the dog he is, where in Discoland is the CHEESE?!!
After DiscoDaddy calms himself down and consumes the favorite part of his meal, his can of soda... he really understands what the Fatih is all about, it's about getting full, it's about eating chop suey, it's all about “stuff” tossed on a crust with NO CHEESE. Needless to say from DiscoDaddy's assessment, the Fatih is on his Do Not Like list. If DiscoDaddy wants good take-out chop suey, he goes to Kent's Kitch** (another place to be reviewed). On a side note, DiscoDaddy will say his Beef and Blue Cheese did have a lot of blue cheese, but DiscoDaddy doesn't like the Fatih's squeeze bottle, salad dressing blue cheese, he prefers real cheese.
To add further insult to DiscoDaddy's disappointing experience, he must say the service quality is bad, real bad (not in the Disco good way), the server had no clue how to communicate and just did not pay respect to the baddest cat to dance under the Disco ball. (After cruising the WWW, DiscoDaddy now understands the problem, just look at the Fatih's website, looks like the server might be the same guy who writes their content, really “sounds” like the way he talks).
Enough of the hate, DiscoDaddy has no time for that! If you want a piece of
cheap and filling pie, Uncle Fatih's may be for you! For DiscoDaddy? Never again... Fatih has taken DiscoDaddy's first and last $4.
Hold on, Disco retraction, DiscoDaddy should never say never... he will say that unless one of his trusted minions comes back with a real Badass review your Disconess will not be buying Uncle Fatih's pizza.
DiscoDaddy could not have blasted out of that joint fast enough! HockeyGord will be getting an earful from your Disconess.
DiscoDaddy has left the dance floor.